Bipolar Disorder is Not a Gift

Glad you enjoyed it, Julie! It’s one of my irritations.

Also, when you’re talking about mental illness online, do NOT use your full name. I edited your posts to remove it. Google will eventually associate your name with the posts and turn it up if someone were to Google your name; like a potential employer or family member.

Hello, Jo. Thank you for taking the time to comment. I’m glad you enjoyed my article.

People with Bipolar Disorder needs more knowledge of how their mental illness affects THEM SPECIFICALLY. Because all of the generic information in the world really doesn’t mean a whole lot compared to how it functions and drives the person’s perspective and emotions. Therapy is a great place to start working this out, figuring out what may be triggers for unwellness, and learning management techniques that can help the person derail unwell thought processes before they take off into a full-blown cycle. I highly recommend Cognitive Behavioral Therapy to about everyone; because it focuses on learning how to manage and affect your emotions and emotional responses. I feel like there’s a lot of normal people in the world that would benefit from that.

If you want to suggest that to a loved one, don’t just say, “You should go to therapy.” Because a lot of people mentally equate therapy to just sitting around and talking about their problems; which a lot of us do not want to do. Instead, say something like, “Have you considered going to therapy to better learn how Bipolar Disorder affects you?” And then you can open the door to the conversation on how therapy can help the person manage their mental illness more effectively; assuming that they are diagnosed and accept that they are mentally ill.

The absolute best way to help your loved one is to develop healthy boundaries and keep YOURSELF healthy. Why? Because Bipolar Disorder is for life. It’s a long, hard journey and it will take a toll on you as well. So, if you want to stay present and stay at that person’s side, make CERTAIN that you are taking care of yourself, too. There’s a lot of different ways to go about that. But, in my experience, quite a few supporters and family members have very poor boundaries because they want to be compassionate to their loved one. That’s fine, well and good. But, it’s very easy for Bipolar Disorder to overrun flimsy, poorly reinforced boundaries.

As an example. These are some of mine.

1. I will not sacrifice my own stability for another person. If I’m starting to get unstable, I will inform them and take a step back to work on myself.

2. I am not here to save anyone. My goal is to enable people to better help themselves. I’m not going to do the work for them. I’m not going to beg or plead with them to do the right things. If they don’t want to, then that’s their choice.

3. I will notify authorities if the situation requires it with zero apologies. One, I’m not qualified or certified to handle that. And two, it keeps manipulators from using the threat of suicide to manipulate me.

These are hard and fast boundaries that allow me to stay healthy and doing what I do. You need some of your own, too. Everyone needs some because everyone has limits. You may want to talk to a counselor yourself for help in developing and enforcing yours. It can be a hard thing to do when someone you care about is suffering; but ultimately it is for the best for everyone involved.

I would disagree with your original sentiment. I don’t think it is a part of a larger shift, because it’s not applicable to a majority of people with Bipolar Disorder. It’s really only applicable to moderate percentage. If I had to state a guess, I would say 10% or so. The problem is that it is an “easy” positive to try and associate the Disorder with. It’s clear, easy to point to, and the people with the platforms or who are functional enough to have resources to promote it push it because it makes them feel okay about it. But there are a whole lot of people with Bipolar Disorder who are not artistic or geniuses or whatever. And for every one “genius” there’s who knows how many thousands who can’t identify with that message at all because their quality of life or functionality is garbage.

In my experience and from my observation, people don’t look at mental illness and physical illness as the same because they don’t fully grasp or appreciate the complexities of the human brain. It’s really strange to me how many people can’t wrap their own minds around the fact that a brain, much like a heart, kidney, or lung; can be diseased or just not built correctly. I suspect the reason is that most people are filtering their experiences through their own perception of reality if they don’t have enough experience to understand what they are looking at.

As an example. Most people wouldn’t look at a severely manic person as “vulnerable” because they can be a ball of rage, impulsive decisions, and regularly on the offensive. Less knowledgeable people would write that person off as nuts, angry, or just fucked up. Whereas people that do understand the symptoms and how the mental illness drives the person understands that they are in a very vulnerable state, because the person isn’t able to think rationally at the time.

I think the problem is just how intangible mental illness is to people that don’t experience it or understand it very well.

That’s why I use so many analogies and metaphors in my work; to try and put things in a context that someone who doesn’t experience it can understand.