Still alive, still kickin’…

Today is the second anniversary of the last meaningful post I wrote about the struggle to find peace and happiness with Bipolar Disorder for a friend who was gone too soon. That event just happened to coincide with several other events at the time, which felt like getting my teeth kicked down my throat by Bipolar-depression.

Other friends went through some of their own hard times, lost a valuable friendship, website and social media presence came under attack by trolls, and work really picked up. I had a severe crisis of confidence and direction in what I was even doing with my mental health writing. Then, of course, you have the general state of the world and everything that’s going on with that.

You want to learn something interesting about creative endeavors? People always talk about how hard it is to deal with criticism, which I never really had much of a problem with. What I rarely hear anyone talk about is the damage of friendly advice and constructive criticism from people who like your work.

They approach as a friend, with a smile on their face, and they tell you, “I really love your work! It really did this for me, and I appreciate it. But I have to tell you, I think it would be much better if you did this instead…”

You can easily get pulled off course if your eyes aren’t fixed on your North Star. After all, they like your work, they’re giving you some constructive criticism, and you want to make your audience happy, right?

Well, no.

Because that audience member is not your audience. They are one person out of your audience. And then you sooner or later you start getting messages asking, “What happened with your writing? What happened with your work? It’s so different now…”

Because you took that advice and started to make something watered down that no longer felt like an authentic reflection of who you are or what you wanted to say. Feeling disconnected from your own art is a strange feeling. Looking at my own work and not seeing myself is troubling.

I apologize for not showing up to those of you that have been looking for me. I appreciate the considered messages and emails I received over the past couple of years. I’m still here, still kicking. I just kind of got lost for awhile there.

And I’m working on a new project now that I’ve put my eyes back on my own North Star. I hope to have more information on that to make public in the next couple of weeks.

I know the world is kind of a dumpster fire right now, so I hope this post finds you well. Personally, I really needed a reset. If you’re still subscribed or following along on social media, give me a yell. Let me know how you’re doing!

-Dennis