Hey y’all. I just wanted to point you to this video, and Dr. Tracey Marks’s Youtube channel. She has a lot of great videos about Bipolar Disorder, including this one that succinctly explains something I’ve been trying to articulate for years – the difference between classic and atypical Bipolar Disorder. Do check it out!
Disclaimer: I am not affiliated with nor received compensation for this promotion in any way.
Today is the second anniversary of the last meaningful post I wrote about the struggle to find peace and happiness with Bipolar Disorder for a friend who was gone too soon. That event just happened to coincide with several other events at the time, which felt like getting my teeth kicked down my throat by Bipolar-depression.
Other friends went through some of their own hard times, lost a valuable friendship, website and social media presence came under attack by trolls, and work really picked up. I had a severe crisis of confidence and direction in what I was even doing with my mental health writing. Then, of course, you have the general state of the world and everything that’s going on with that.
You want to learn something interesting about creative endeavors? People always talk about how hard it is to deal with criticism, which I never really had much of a problem with. What I rarely hear anyone talk about is the damage of friendly advice and constructive criticism from people who like your work.
They approach as a friend, with a smile on their face, and they tell you, “I really love your work! It really did this for me, and I appreciate it. But I have to tell you, I think it would be much better if you did this instead…”
You can easily get pulled off course if your eyes aren’t fixed on your North Star. After all, they like your work, they’re giving you some constructive criticism, and you want to make your audience happy, right?
Well, no.
Because that audience member is not your audience. They are one person out of your audience. And then you sooner or later you start getting messages asking, “What happened with your writing? What happened with your work? It’s so different now…”
Because you took that advice and started to make something watered down that no longer felt like an authentic reflection of who you are or what you wanted to say. Feeling disconnected from your own art is a strange feeling. Looking at my own work and not seeing myself is troubling.
I apologize for not showing up to those of you that have been looking for me. I appreciate the considered messages and emails I received over the past couple of years. I’m still here, still kicking. I just kind of got lost for awhile there.
And I’m working on a new project now that I’ve put my eyes back on my own North Star. I hope to have more information on that to make public in the next couple of weeks.
I know the world is kind of a dumpster fire right now, so I hope this post finds you well. Personally, I really needed a reset. If you’re still subscribed or following along on social media, give me a yell. Let me know how you’re doing!
-Dennis
Happy Thanksgiving to those of you out there who are observing it! I hope things are well for you all and your families. I’ve been a bit quieter than normal recently, adjusting to new living circumstances and other life goings on, and thought I would take a moment to update you all on the general direction for my work.
It’s been awhile since I released my last eBook, “Everyday Instability and Bipolar Disorder.” My next has been in the works for several months now and I’m pushing towards getting that wrapped up to be available early next year. The focus is on breaking through the barriers that prevent meaningful communication between the mentally ill and their loved ones. In it, I am exploring the recurring themes, fears, and problems I’ve witnessed in the past five years I’ve been trying to tear down other peoples’ walls. It is my hope that it will enable the mentally ill and their supporters to develop better rapport as well as chipping through the fear that keeps many people from seeking the help they need.
Some of you may recall, earlier this year, that I made a brief foray in attempting to launch a Youtube channel. There are numerous reasons why that didn’t pan out that I’m not going to go into here, as it’s not really that important. After more research and a lot of consideration on the things that went wrong, I have shifted that idea. I have decided to launch an audio podcast instead. In essence, I am planning to simply expand my work out into an audio format that will be easier for consumption. It will be available in a few easy to access locations, as well as through standard podcast channels.
The format I have settled on will be about a 20-30 minute episode once per week. I plan to launch in early January with the new year.
Between working on those two things and the general flow of what else I do, it has been keeping me pretty busy. Lots of unexpected challenges to deal with at times.
I am still very much here and doing what I do, just haven’t been as engaged as I probably should be. That’s another change I need to look at making moving forward.
Anyway, have a great Thanksgiving for the Americans out there. And for my not American audience, have a great day. Be well.
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I want to start this blog post by informing you all that I am NOT in any way affiliated, receiving compensation for, or have any connection at all to GoodRX.com. I am writing this blog post because medication is a pretty major part of managing and maintaining Bipolar Disorder, so finding ways to cut costs on medications is generally a good thing.
What is GoodRX.com?
GoodRX.com is a search engine, of sorts, that compiles and compares pharmacy pricing information to help you find the lowest cost on your prescriptions. Their service offers different coupons as they come available to further help the user cut their cost. They do not require a sign up or a credit card, in fact, their service and app are both free. If you create an account, you get a few additional benefits such as: price alerts, new coupons, finding the lowest average price to get all your prescriptions at a single pharmacy, as well as updates sent to your email.
As of this writing (7/8/2016), they currently have 27,000 reviews and a 4.7 rating on the Google Play Store for their app.
So, what’s the catch?
GoodRX.com is not forthcoming about how they are actually making their money. In the research I conducted, I mostly agree with this write up by Ejovi Nuwere, as well as his concerns. Namely, that they have partnered with Pharmacy Benefit Managers to generate sales. The PBMs earn a transaction fee in exchange for driving customer traffic to certain pharmacies. The marketer (GoodRX.com) is then paid a transaction fee from the PBMs. Essentially, a type of internet affiliate marketing.
The other concern is information. Data is king in marketing. Users of this service are essentially providing “free” data to GoodRX.com on their prescriptions and whatever other personal information they provide. It is written into into their Terms of Service that they will not sell that information. However, if GoodRX.com was created and funded by another company, that information will go to that company. So, for example, if Pfizer is the one that paid for it, then Pfizer would have access to those assets because it’s not “selling” the information.
A concern that Nuwere puts forward is the sale and acquisition of the company. If the company is sold, any data collected would go with it as part of the company’s assets, because it is not technically a sale of the data. It would be a sale of the company.
Should you use GoodRX.com?
It depends on how you feel about providing information to a third party. You can use their website and service without actually signing up, thus you can avoid providing any directly linked personal information; but they are still collecting data, even if it’s not directly attached to a name.
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I was recently asked if I could find a decent article on the Depression one can experience after a person with Bipolar Disorder crashes out of an escalation. I couldn’t find one that I was satisfied with or that addressed this matter specifically, so here we are.
About the Post-Escalation Crash
Bipolar Disorder is characterized by the mood cycles it gives us. We go up, we go down. Right? Right.
An escalated cycle (mania or hypomania) is like putting our mind into overdrive for as long as we are escalated. Sooner or later, that cycle will end. The Bipolar mind typically snaps back hard into Depression because it has been in such a severe state of overdrive for the duration of that cycle.
How severe is it? Typically, it will be a far worse and deeper depression than we normally experience. In my case specifically, I go from being reasonably intelligent to not being able to do basic math in my head. The thoughts just aren’t there. I never drive in a post-escalation crash period because my mind won’t connect thoughts and actions. As an example…
My mind crashed out of an escalated cycle while driving once. I was escalated one minute and cratered into severe depression the next. I almost ended up rear-ending someone because my brain ceased to do what it is supposed to do. Consider the process required for braking.
1. The person ahead applies brakes and their brake lights come on.
2. Your brain sees the brake lights.
3. Your brain associates the brake lights of the car ahead with a need to stop.
4. Your brain sends the signal to your legs to apply the brake pedal.
That all happens in the span of a second or two. It’s just habit for people that drive on a regular basis.
Now consider what might happen if you insert 3-15 seconds of brain lag between each of those steps with no guarantee that your brain will connect the dots properly. Consider what might happen if your brain doesn’t pull the correct information about the scenario. “What are those lights for?” “I can’t remember which one is the brake pedal!” “That car is slowing down! What do I do?!”
The Difference Between a Crash and a Depressive Cycle
I want to preface this section by noting that this is heavily opinion and theory based on my interpretation of facts. Take it with a grain of salt.
I’ve met many people who feel that this deep crash is another type of cycle. I don’t believe this to be the case and there’s no real support for that belief, that I know of, other than the person having Bipolar Disorder and the low being depression. I don’t believe it to be a cycle of its own because it is often temporary. In most of the examples I’ve seen in myself and in the several people with Bipolar Disorder I interact with on a regular basis, it’s not unusual for the person to crash hard and then float back to their normal.
The crash is just different. It just feels and functions different than what my depression normally gives me. And it does the same thing in numerous other Bipolar people that I’ve been around. It can be frightening and intimidating, which is made worse by the depression, because we’re not used to it.
The other problem is that people who have been dealing with this for a long time often get used to how Bipolar Disorder affects them. “Well, my depression has done this for 30 years. Why would it change now?” It changes because Bipolar Disorder often gets worse with age, so it changes the way things can happen in your brain in addition to whatever other influences are at work such as stress, medication, general life situations, and more.
So, if you haven’t ever experienced it before and you suddenly are, it’s not unusual.
How do we deal with it?
As always, talk to your mental health professionals first and foremost. Communicate with them about what is going on, particularly if it persists for longer than a few weeks. In my personal experience and with other Bipolar people I’ve been around, it usually doesn’t take longer than 2 or 3 weeks to recover. If it takes longer than that, it’s very likely that a medication may need adjusted or added.
The “natural control” crowd often doesn’t want to hear that, particularly if they are in the camp of Bipolar people who aren’t so severe that they can manage with very little medical oversight. But the fallout from this type of cycle can be far, far more severe than what natural management practices can handle.
First, I would recommend revisiting the way that you look at a dominant escalated cycle. A lot of people look at it like this…
When really it looks more like this…
We need to account for he possibility of that extremely deep crash. We need to have a strategy for dealing with that as well.
Rest is an important part of recovery, in my personal experience and with many of the people I interact with on a regular basis. A lot of times I’ll sleep 12-16 hours a day for about a week after I crash and then my brain will rebalance.
Sometimes, patience is the only way you can handle these things.
But, as previously mentioned, involve your mental health professionals as much as possible so they can look at your situation specifically. If it’s lasting more than a couple weeks, we may need a medication adjustment to pull us back towards our normal baseline.
A Theory About Post-Crash Depression and Suicide
Again, pointing out that this is just a theory based on my interpretation of facts and I have no way to substantiate it. I strongly suspect that a post-manic crash is when a majority of suicide attempts driven by Bipolar Disorder occur.
Consider the following.
Ben is well and balanced for years. His body becomes acclimated to the medication and he triggers into a manic cycle that he doesn’t identify because he doesn’t realize that medication efficiency doesn’t last forever. He goes from loving husband and father to manic monster over the course of a couple weeks, unloading verbal and emotional abuse on his family until he finally decides that his family is the source of all of his misery and walks out.
He quits his career, something he went to college for, to pursue his “lifelong dream” of being a rock star even though he hasn’t picked up an instrument in 20 years, shacks up with some random woman he met, files for a divorce, and tears his life to pieces as his brain is screaming through mania.
About a year later, the manic cycle comes screeching to a halt. Ben crashes hard into depression. His mind is no longer plagued by the delusional emotions and thoughts of mania. The love for his family is back, in full force, with the knowledge of what he did to them. Everything he’s built in his career is in shambles. None of the emotions he had for this random woman are present anymore. She becomes collateral damage in the cycle because Ben probably related his delusional thoughts and feelings about his family to her. And many people in her position are convinced by the “passion” and emotional instability a person like Ben is projecting; when in reality he’s just projecting manic delusion.
And he’s in the process of being divorced from the woman he wanted to spend his life with.
On top of all of that, now he has a severe, deep depression which is an entirely new experience; a depression that he is not used to navigating. And Bipolar Disorder, Bipolar-depression, is whispering in his mind on a nearly constant basis about how badly he fucked up. Delusional, incorrect thoughts and feelings plague his mind while he is drowning in the depression with all of the lies it likes to tell us. “It’s hopeless, it’s pointless. You’ve lost everything. You’ll never be able to fix this.”
What’s left for Ben? He’s burned the bridges to the people he cares about. Hopefully, he would reach out to an emergency service or his doctor. But I’m certain plenty of people do not. I think that this time period, when a Bipolar person swaps from the “invincibility” of mania to the most fragile emotional state we will ever experience, is the most likely time that we will decide we’re done with this ride.
What can we do about it?
The only solution I can think of is to plant a seed that will hopefully blossom after they crash. I would say something to the effect of, “If ever there comes a time when you realize how awful you’ve been acting, please reach out to me so we can get you help.” And that may be a real hard thing to do with someone whose brain is screaming through insanity with all of the chaos and misery that goes along with it. Hopefully, they will remember that when their brain finally crashes out and know that they can reach out instead of seeing suicide as the only option left.
That does not mean you make them promises or welcome them back with open arms or anything. Every situation is different. Every person has limits on what they are able to deal with. But, many of the people that are faced with this decision are sons, daughters, mothers, fathers, spouses; and so on. It could be the difference between just a serious life change versus needing to explain to the kids why their parent is gone. And if they do reach out, get them in touch with an organization that can help at-risk, in-crisis people that serves your area. In the United States that would be the National Suicide Crisis LifeLine 800-273-TALK (8255) and their site also has a chat contact option, which may be good for some.
How will I know if a toxic person is just trying to manipulate me?
Given that most of the people dealing with this will know the Bipolar person very well personally, you’ll know. It’s a night and day difference. Just pay attention to ensure they are acting on trying to get help. Don’t promise that they can come home or that there won’t be repercussions. Don’t promise to forgive and definitely don’t forget. Just focus on getting that person in contact with people that can help them.
And finally…
I want to take a final moment to point out that this article specifically points at a dominant escalated cycle and the subsequent ending of it, not general instability or Rapid Cycling. I’ve known Bipolar people who never really had extremely deep lows and highs. This information may not be 100% applicable to each of us specifically. Nothing is when you’re dealing with mental illness. If you’re in doubt, talk to your mental health professional. If this resonates with you, feel free to let your professional read this, get their thoughts on it, and develop a strategy for dealing with it that makes sense for YOU.
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Just a short note, don’t be concerned with changes you’re seeing in my blog. I’m working on getting a better mobile experience set up for visitors as well as streamlining some things I view as inefficiencies.
Thank you for your patience!
I’ve always enjoyed troubleshooting and trying to find solutions to problems. I find it to not only be fun, but a great exercise for the mind. Well, finding a solution to help with Bipolar Disorder and Depression is far less fun, but it is a worthwhile endeavor. That is why I’m presenting to you five qualities that I feel are essential building blocks of Bipolar wellness. Every mentally ill person I know of that attains a high degree of functionality and long-term recovery possesses these five qualities.
Knowledge
The people I interact with regularly tell me how important my lived experience and wisdom gained is. I often counter this point with the importance of book learned knowledge. You see, mental illness is mostly a giant gray area. It is very easy to confuse one mental illness for another in the course of trying to be correctly diagnosed. And frankly, that’s not necessarily the fault of medical professionals. It is often the result of the consumer not understanding that certain facets of their personality are bad or symptoms.
Personal knowledge is important because it helps a Bipolar person separate themselves from their mental illness. Once you understand what is the real you and what is the mental illness, it makes it much easier to spot when medication isn’t working, unwell cycles, or destructive actions.
Understanding
The other side of the Knowledge coin is Understanding. Understanding relates more to the wisdom of knowing how to apply the knowledge that a person has. There is a universe of information on mental illness out there; and only a fraction of it will actually apply to each of us individually. We must reflect and understand how our mental illness applies to each of us, specifically.
Question 100 Bipolar people and you will come up with a 100 different examples of the manifestations and beliefs about the mental illness. We each must figure out how our diagnosis applies to us. A therapist is very helpful for this process.
Communication
All of the knowledge in the world doesn’t mean much if a person can’t meaningfully communicate what is going on in their mind. I’ve known quite a few mentally ill people who could not make the most of their professional appointments because they would lie or misrepresent the truth. That does absolutely no good. The only people that get hurt in that scenario are the consumer and their family members.
Meaningful communication between consumer and professional, consumer and supporters is necessary to find and maintain wellness. If you have a hard time saying certain things, write it down and hand it over that way! I did this a lot when I was still struggling with my instability and mind.
Trust
Trust, but verify should be the mantra of everyone in life, really. The mind and mental health are complicated, vast subject with a lot of room for interpretation. Many people view the DSM as a “Bible” of mental illness; and when it comes to symptoms it may very well be. But, it doesn’t exactly add any kind of personal perspective or understanding in how behaviors are interpreted.
That means that mental health professionals can make mistakes if they make a bad judgment call on what they’re seeing, if they are assuming previous experience will be the same as the present experience, or if they simply aren’t that knowledgeable on a subject. No one can or should be expected to know everything. It’s just not possible.
So always; trust, but verify.
Desire
No one recovers from mental illness without Desire. Period. Mental wellness is a marathon, not a sprint. Each of us must find the Desire to want to be better, to do all of the tedious garbage work that goes along with being mentally well. Sooner or later, things are going to go bad. Medication stops working. Motivation is hard to find. Depression can come in and derail the progress we’re trying to make.
Desire may not be able to carry us through the overwhelming nature of Depression, but it can help us get back to our feet when the burden becomes to heavy to shoulder. A person must find their desire, find their passion, wherever they can get it, in a way that makes sense to each and every one of us.
Find a way to build on these five qualities. It will make your journey in life and towards wellness much easier.
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Periodically, I will present information from accredited, professional sources to help you further your understanding of managing Bipolar Disorder. I would like to once again state, like I do all over my website, blog, and email signature, that I am not a mental health professional of any kind. The information I present is to enable you to identify problems and know which questions to ask your mental health professional. Take everything you read on the internet with a heavy dose of salt, including my work.
I will point out that I purposefully cited links that point to information provided by organizations that would be viewed as viable resources, not just random internet garbage.
Unexpected Side Effects
That being said, we need to talk a bit about the introduction of new substances in our bodies and the potential side effects. You see, there are quite a few substances that can cause unintended reactions that impact the effectiveness of medication. Sometimes, they are things that you wouldn’t expect.
Let’s look at a relatively innocuous substance. This Consumer Update from the FDA points out the potential for grapefruit juice to have an affect on the absorption rates and efficiency of several different drugs, including the anti-anxiety medication BuSpar (buspirone). Ideally, your doctor or pharmacist would warn you that adding grapefruit to your diet may not be a good idea.
But what if they don’t? As much knowledge as these folks need to retain, some things are going to slip through the cracks. No one is perfect. People in these positions are held to an impossible standard to not ever make a mistake or risk getting sued.
But mistakes will happen and important points can slip through.
How many Bipolar people out there enjoy Green Tea? How many of those people know that Green Tea has been linked to the reduction of lithium levels in the blood stream? Lithium is an incredibly common mood stabilizer that’s been in use for over fifty years. I would venture to guess that there is a decent overlap. A reduction in lithium levels in a Bipolar person gives the antidepressant room to push the person into escalation.
Another unlikely culprit is varenicline, otherwise known as Chantix. Chantix is a prescription medication that is meant to help people stop smoking.
Chantix has been found to have antidepressant-like affects in testing. It has also been found to increase activity in certain classes of antidepressants. Chantix is reported to have side effects that included suicidal ideation, aggression, and delusion.
Let’s consider a hypothetical. Let’s say there is a Bipolar person who visits their professionals regularly, takes their medication as directed, and has their life relatively well put together. The medication regimen they are on is in balance with a mood stabilizer and antidepressant.
The person talks to their primary care physician (PCP) about quitting smoking and wants to try Chantix, not knowing that it can drastically alter or have antidepressant-like affects in their body. The PCP overlooks the potential interaction. The patient never bothers to relay that they are starting Chantix to their prescribing psych doctor because they don’t think it’s important.
Many PCPs choose to not deal with serious mental illness treatment because it is a specialized knowledge. There’s no reason to assume that the PCP would necessarily know about the interaction. The psych probably would, if they were aware that Chantix was being prescribed. That essentially leaves the pharmacy as a final safety net. We simply can’t assume that they would catch it. Hopefully, they would, but we can’t count on it.
What can potentially happen if the mood stabilizer is not strong enough to counter the amplified or altered affects of the Chantix? Well, what happens when an antidepressant is put into a Bipolar person without a strong enough mood stabilizer? The Bipolar person will likely launch into an extreme hypomanic or manic cycle. Quite often, a cycle driven by incorrect medication or a third party substance can drive a Bipolar person’s mind to extremes they don’t usually experience.
Consider the following analogy.
You have a scale. On one side is the mood stabilizer, on the other is an antidepressant. Traditional Bipolar medication strategy would weight down the mood stabilizer side until the upper end of Bipolar Disorder is under control. Then, weight is gradually added to the antidepressant side in the form of gradually increasing dosages until both sides are in balance, in a therapeutic range, and all symptoms are under control. Once both sides are in balance, the Bipolar person’s mental state would stay in a healthy, functional range.
Adding Chantix could be like doubling the weight on the antidepressant side, throwing the balance completely out of whack, and force a Bipolar person’s mind into a severe manic cycle. Being on lithium and drinking Green Tea could gradually remove weight from the mood stabilizer side until the balance is upset and an unwell cycle is imminent.
Intercepting Potential Problems
How can we actually tell when this is going on? Delusion can play a significant role in keeping us from seeing the truth. The mental illness can tell us that the people we normally trust are actively working against us or lying.
First, we must stay aware of what is going on in our mind and body. Any time I am going to put anything new in my body, I consult with my prescribing doctor or pharmacist to ensure that it is not going to have a negative affect. Optimally, I’ll talk to both before actually doing it. That way if one overlooks it, there is a chance that the second may help me catch it.
Second, we must listen to the people that we normally trust. An unchecked Bipolar cycle can easily alienate us from the people that we care about. We must always be suspicious of any unexplained changes in our mentality until we can confirm that it is not an unwell cycle.
I believe it is vital to occasionally look back and compare. How am I doing today versus how I was doing three months ago? Six months ago? Am I more depressed? Am I feeling fine? Am I feeling invincible? What about my loved ones? Are they expressing anything different? Is my support network telling me that something might be off that I can compare to the last time I knew I was feeling okay?
Whether it’s your parents, girlfriend, boyfriend, siblings, spouse or whoever it is you trust; you need to listen to them and try to hear them if they tell you something is wrong. Because if you changed something about what you put in your body and miss an unwell cycle, it can be really hard to see when you’re the one experiencing it. Listen to the people you trust.
The Takeaway
I know I’ve covered a lot of ground here, so let me tie this together into a couple thoughts that you can take with you and use.
You never know how a new substance you put into your body may affect you. It could cause extreme unwellness because of some obscure detail that you or your professional does not necessarily know.
The easiest way to identify this kind of occurrence is to monitor what your mind is doing whenever you add anything into your body until you can confirm that nothing weird is going on. Once you’ve confirmed that, you can move forward.
Listen to the people that you normally trust. The Disorder can tell you a lot of things that aren’t true. It can convince you that everyone else is the problem. But if you have multiple people that you normally trust telling you something is off, it’s a good idea to really try and look objectively at the situation to see if there is any real merit to what is being said.
And finally, talk to your medical professionals. If you get even the faintest glimpse that something might be wrong, do not be shy about bringing it up. Details are very important in the management of Bipolar Disorder and other mental illnesses.
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When I started my Bipolar Manifesto about three years ago now, my intention was to try and reach other Bipolar and Depressed people. I figured these were the people I would aim try to help out if I could. What actually ended up happening was different. Maybe 20% of the people that reach out to me are Bipolar or Depressed. Probably 60% or so are loved ones of those people trying to figure out what’s going on. The remaining 20% is a mix of “other”. People of many different backgrounds, with different mental illnesses and life experiences.
Many of the people that reach out to me feel alienated from the system, either afraid or badly treated by it. Many of these people are just looking for a friend, just someone they can talk to who won’t minimize their problems or make them feel worse about them.
I’ve heard a lot of shit as a result. And I’ve listened to – fuck, I have no idea how many – people pour out their guts about the horrific shit done to them as children. And in almost every single one of those stories, there is at least one person who knew in some way. Either, the child told them trying to get help or they saw something. I don’t mean the people that “suspected”. I mean people that fucking knew in some way that could not be disputed.
Here’s what I don’t fucking understand. I’m fine with the concept of evil. I get that. There is genuine good and evil in the world. I’ve seen both in my life. I can understand that there are people so broken, so fucked up that victimizing people is right to them.
What I can’t understand is the fucking apathy. How can anyone be okay with letting that shit happen?
Years ago, I thought that evil was the worst part of humanity. But it’s not. No, it’s the fucking apathy. A majority of people are fucking useless and wouldn’t piss on you to put out a fire. They would break out their cell phones and record it though!
“Even though we would never choose to go through something so terrible, each one of our family members drew closer to God.” – Duggars – I don’t even give a shit which one.
“I would do anything to go back to those teen years and take different actions,” Josh shares. “I sought forgiveness from those I had wronged and asked Christ to forgive me and come into my life. In my life today, I am so very thankful for God’s grace, mercy and redemption.”
On behalf of the LGBT people this piece of shit vilified as “endangering the well-being of children” because of their sexuality, of the people who have shared some of their darkest memories with me, of my two ex-gfs with PTSD and night terrors decades after their abuse, of the people who suffer in silence because their ability to trust has been destroyed, of the people who will suffer for the rest of their lives because of actions like this, who feel they have no voice and are unable to speak up for themselves – Fuck. You. Get fucked with a pineapple soaked in tabasco.
Fuck you, to you worthless pieces of shit who do nothing. Fuck you, to the fucking politicians sliming out of the woodwork to defend a CHILD MOLESTER. And fuck you to a three year statute of limitations.
Why in the hell is the statute of limitations on “inappropriate contact with a minor” three fucking years? Can anyone explain that to me? Why is it that a crime that can fuck up the rest of a person’s life, destroy their ability to have relationships, to trust, to have peace of mind; three fucking years?
Well, maybe it has something to do with the politicians coming forward to defend their little buddy!
What the fuck, Huckabee? My first thought on that shit is – why do you feel the need to stand up for a sexual predator, exactly? What the fuck are you doing behind closed doors?
Yeah, Jesus “cured” you, Josh. Fuck you.
But that does bring up an interesting question. If there is a Heaven and Hell, and all you have to do is ask for forgiveness to be accepted into God’s graces; I wonder how it goes when repentant rapists, child molesters, and murderers meet their victims in Heaven? Awwwwwwwwkwaaaaaaaaaaaaard.
Frankly, I would rather burn in Hell with honest evil. At least, I know what I’m dealing with then. And please, spare me the shit about “not my God, he wouldn’t just forgive that!” Read your Bible. There’s no fucking clauses for that shit.
“We prolly in hell already. Our dumbasses not knowin’, everyone kissin’ ass to get to heaven ain’t goin’. Put my soul on it..” – Tupac Shakur
Forgive? The only thing this piece of shit is sorry about is getting outed. And the worst part is, as his statements seem to imply, he’ll just continue to spin it as a “test from God”. Yeah, God and Jesus gave you the urge to molest children as a test to see if you would give into molesting children. I can see no flaws in that logic at all!
And if you are reading this and are knowledgeable about someone having inappropriate contact with a child, whether it’s full on fucking or some minor petting, you are FUCKING WORSE than the piece of shit doing it. Because you’re a fucking coward who won’t do the right thing and help that child. Get off your worthless ass and call the cops. Not your fucking religious authorities, not your head coach, not your family so it all gets neatly swept under the rug and the victim fucking forgotten about.
Or maybe they’ll be like ol’ Josh here and get a stern-talking to from a cop who is now serving a 56 year sentence for possession of child pornography!
Fuck me. Sigh.
Anyone know where I put my lithium?
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Normally, I try and stay away from my personal rants and opinions on things like politics, the news, religion, and so forth. My goal is to provide a comfortable platform of information for anyone that wants it regardless of orientation, beliefs, or whatever.
With that being said, Fox correspondent Tom Sullivan recently stated on his show that people with mental illness have “figured out how to ‘game the system’ by receiving disability benefits”. He then went on to defend Sen. Rand Paul’s (R-KY) false statement that “over half of the people on disability are either anxious or their back hurts”.
A caller with Bipolar Disorder attempt to refute his beliefs, although did not have the right information to do so or presence of mind to actually debate the points.
I encourage you to check out Media Matters link provided if you want a direct link to a page with video. I am simply going to address some of the discussion that was cited in the included link.
“SULLIVAN: I’m very skeptical. And I’ve got to tell you, if you haven’t been told, I will tell you. I think bipolar is like the latest fad. Everybody and their brother is getting diagnosed with bipolar. And last time I checked, we all have good days and we all have bad. And I don’t consider that an illness. And I don’t consider it a disability.
CALLER: That is very true, however, there are people that have the extremes of that. They have their bad days, are beyond — I mean you literally cannot get out of bed. Not because you don’t, that you don’t want to —
SULLIVAN: What were these people called 25 years ago?
Facts: Having good days and bad days is not criteria for a mental illness diagnosis. Good and bad days to the extremes that they disrupt and prevent you from meaningfully living your life are. An inability to function appropriately in the basics of human existence (use Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs for an idea), is a reason to at least speak to a professional about it. Does that mean the person should immediately be put on Disability or start shoveling medication down their throat? No.
25 years ago would be 1990. They were called Bipolar people. It wasn’t until 1980 that the DSM-3 changed “Manic-Depression” to “Bipolar Disorder” to accommodate the number of people who fall in the Bipolar spectrum that do not experience “Mania” as a symptom. Hypomania is not mania.
CALLER: Well, you know what, it’s funny —
SULLIVAN: Before they came with this bipolar diagnosis. I mean, I just think it’s something made up by the mental health business just to be able to give people prescriptions and keep them coming in, and keeping you — paying them money.
Facts: The first mention of manic-depression (Bipolar Disorder) as a separate mental illness was about a thousand years ago in The Canon of Medicine in 1025. It’s also been known as the “Circular Disease” before it was Manic-Depression before it was Bipolar Disorder. Physicians from all over the world are noted to have specifically identified it- ranging from the French who pioneered the beliefs of what we know it as today to the Chinese who described it in Eight Treatises on the Nurturing of Life in the 16th century to the Greeks who believed once believed it to be an imbalance of humours. Bipolar Disorder has a long and storied history if you bother to research it at all.
[…]
SULLIVAN: You ever heard of these doctors that say the psychology business is full of basically people — it’s big pharma that’s pushing the whole thing because they make a ton of money? Your parents never would have gotten this. There wasn’t even a diagnosis as bipolar when your parents were your age.
CALLER: No, that’s true.
Facts: This statement is something political figures and pundits use to make their point. It is true that the caller’s parents never would have gotten a Bipolar diagnosis at her age, because the Bipolar diagnosis did not EXIST yet. They would have been diagnosed Manic-Depression. It is not a direct lie, but a misrepresentation of truth through omission of fact. This is something called “spin”. Next time you watch a politician or pundit, listen for phrases like “we think”, “we believe”, “I believe”, “Studies show”. These are weasel word phrases and the basis of spin. That way if the person gets called out on their asinine belief, they can simply say “I didn’t assert it as a fact. I simply said ‘I believe’; an expression of opinion.” Which it is and would be fine if the average listener would separate opinion from fact.
SULLIVAN: So — and you know what? They did just fine. Society did fine. I don’t know, I don’t know why we have to create these new illnesses, and create all these medicines for something that really wasn’t a problem in the first place.
CALLER: Well, I understand what you’re saying. And that is a common, that’s a common feeling for a lot of people. They don’t understand it, and honestly, you won’t understand it until you experience it. And I would never wish this on my worst enemy. But it truly is a disorder and a disease. I know that personally I would not be alive today if it were not for medications and for therapy. Because I would have killed myself. When I was in college, I was there, I almost did it. So if, you know, there are actual problems. I’m actually affected physically, not just mentally, you know, having disabilities –
Facts: No, they did not do just fine. They were ignored like all of the other dirty little facts of society of the era. Mentally ill people were thrown away into mental institutions with less oversight and conditions worse than some maximum security prisons. Society was just as poisonous in your “golden era” as it is today; except then it was flagrant and acceptable.
SULLIVAN: You ever think that maybe, maybe somebody’s talked you into feeling and thinking this way?
CALLER: I wish. No.”
Personal Opinion: No. Because I spent from the time I started cycling at 13 to almost 29 not talking about the suicide attempts and ideation, the delusional thinking of talking to God or being sent messages, of doing horrible things to myself and the people around me. I tried to discuss it twice. Once with a person who I trusted who had beliefs similar to yours, who shut me down immediately as suicidal thoughts being a weakness of character. To my doctor who misdiagnosed me as depressive with all the fun that comes along with being on an antidepressant without a mood stabilizer as a Bipolar person. Surprise, surprise “deal with it” didn’t stop me from falling deep enough into the pit to actually follow through on my suicidal thoughts.
Because of people promoting the idiotic “beliefs” that you have, I spent a majority of that time thinking I was just a shitty person who couldn’t handle responsibility instead of seeking the help and stability that the medical industry and Disability has enabled me to achieve through my own effort.
What you or I “believe” is irrelevant. Try reading a book and learning some facts.
Now, this is normally the time when a blog or writer will tell you; “omg you can make a difference, contact Fox to express your outrage!” Save your energy. It means nothing. They’ll just trot out with a half-assed apology and life will go on as usual; like all the other times this crap has happened over the years.
Want to make an actual difference in your perception and this drivel? Stop listening to pundits, stop watching the networks and shows that support them, and start reading more. Don’t take their word, or my word for a damned thing, go out and read it; research it yourself. The caller, though having good intentions, did not have the ammunition needed to counter these common, ignorant perceptions.
If you want to make a difference in ending stigma, you’re going to have to do better than “Nu uh! You’re wrong!” with people like Sullivan who are gifted communicators in an arena that thrives on being manipulative to work the emotions of audiences to get them tuned back in.
It’s not about being a Republican, Democrat, or Independent; it’s not about being Christian, Muslim, or Pagan; it’s about truth. There is only one truth despite the many, many perceptions of that one truth. Perceptions are simply an opinion of that one truth.
And the truth of this matter is- Bipolar Disorder is a very real mental illness that’s been around for a very long time with high suicide rates in people who go untreated.
What you, Sullivan, or I perceive and believe about that truth is irrelevant. Our beliefs and perceptions do not change those fundamental facts. It’s no different than the discredited MMR vaccine and autism link perpetuated by ignorance and trumpeted by the media.
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