The struggle for stability is a war we all wage with ourselves. Unfortunately, there are casualties in war. Some are collateral damage, others are direct damage. Today I bring you a true story of a direct casualty. On June 10th, 2014, a man I’ll call “R” for the sake of privacy, committed suicide. I had been in regular contact with one of his loved ones, a woman I’ll call “H”, for awhile up to this point.
R was diagnosed in 2000 but refused to accept his diagnosis. He went on meds for a little while but didn’t like the way they made him feel. So he quit and decided that he wasn’t Bipolar. Part of it may have just been stubbornness; but I suspect a large part of it was an unwillingness to give up a career he loved for his mental well being.
R was an older man, and had spent decades dealing with what went on his mind. All the people around him knew something was drastically wrong; but no one could get him to see how different his moods and mentality were. It was just part of being who he was to him.
Unfortunately, he was an unmedicated Bipolar. And his refusal to acknowledge it, explore options, try to understand it at all cost him everything. In turn, it cost his child a father, H a love, and his siblings a brother.
I asked H if she would be willing to relate the story of her time with R, from the time they met on an online dating site until his suicide. The link you will find below is the story of R, as written primarily by H. I did contribute some very light editing and formatting to make it easier to read.
I asked her to do this so that perhaps H and R’s story could help others understand whether they are trying to get through to someone or thinking of giving up themselves. We hope that readers will be able to take some understanding away or even get a person that was in R’s situation to consider the ramifications of the war they are waging, whether they realize it or not.
It’s a bit long, but I think it’s worth the read. It’s a very good illustration of the natural progress of a severe manic cycle and the results of a severe depressive crash.
If you have someone you care about that’s refusing to help themselves; show it to them. Maybe they will be able to see themselves in R and his actions. Perhaps they will be able to see their potential future if they do not accept their problems and fight them.
Bipolar Disorder doesn’t care. It doesn’t care how smart, dumb, rich, poor, awesome, or shitty of a person you are. People that think they can handle it without any assistance are deluding themselves. They are potentially one severe trigger from a similar path. This shit is life and death whether we acknowledge it or not.
So please, share H’s story. Let’s try and inspire people in a similar situation to get the help they need.
And here you go… the story of R and H.
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