In my last post I briefly spoke about my spiritual awakening that occurred during one of my stays in a psychiatric hospital. I would like to discuss this a step further and give you some tips on how to alleviate panic for good.
First I would like to share my experience in full with you.
After I was in full remission from my eating disorder and self mutilation I began to suffer from debilitating panic attacks among other things. During these bouts of panic and mania I was drugged beyond imagination since I suffered from seizures because of the attacks that were happening over 30 times a day. The doctors just kept pouring liquid xanax into my system every time I would awaken with another bout that would make me nearly seize out of my hospital bed.
During one of my hospital stays I finally gained a moment of clarity and screamed out “NO MORE DRUGS”! I realized that all they were doing was placing a blanket over my deep rooted problems and not fixing anything. I continued to panic and seize for days and had to be institutionalized.
While in the psychiatric hospital I continued to have panic attacks that made me see actual spiritual warfare in front of my very eyes. I could see angels and demons fighting over my soul. I thought I was going crazy because there were no windows in my room and I continuously saw darkness and light fighting each other.
In one of my deepest bouts of panic I remembered that if you were to say in the name of Jesus I command you to flee then all evil will flee because they are scared “poopless” of the mention of His name.
I screamed at the top of my lungs “Father, I give EVERYTHING to you (my mental health, my finances, my medication, my doctors, and everything else I could think of that I was trying to control) and in the name of JESUS I command all evil to leave”.
It was like lightning struck down from heaven and at that moment the darkness fled from my room and my room was lit up with an amazing, spectacular light that was so warm and inviting. I saw hundreds of angels filling my room to the brim and felt a peace like never before come over me and calmed my seizing in an instant.
At the time I thought I was just seeing things and was most likely crazy, but all I knew was that I was starting to level off. After a few days without panic I was finally dismissed from the hospital.
Once I got home the panic started again and every time all I had to do was mention the name of my precious savior Jesus and the it would flee. After a few months of going back and forth with this I knew that until I became deep rooted in his word and prayed over my house then nothing was ever going to change.
I immediately began to look up scripture that had anything to do with panic and anxiety. I learned that Elijah was the first man in recorded history to suffer from panic attacks (1 Kings 19) and it was by listening to God’s soft spoken voice and obeying that he was able to overcome.
You see God doesn’t always have a loud booming voice and not everyone will experience lightning coming from the Heavens or an earthquake. Sometimes God speaks to us in a soft whisper and it is up to us to discern what it is that he is saying to us. By staying rooted in the Word of God and by casting all of my concerns on Him I have been blessed to not suffer from severe anxiety like I used to. Of course I get scared and anxious, we all do, but the moment I gave it all to God and call on Jesus, everything always works itself out.
I would like to take this opportunity to share with you the verses that I found to help me the most in my times of panic. Psalm 43:5 says that hope in God is a cure. Psalm 94:19 states “In the multitude of my anxieties within me, Your comforts delight my soul.”
Proverbs 12:25 “Anxiety in the heart of man causes depression, But a good word makes it glad.” When we are anxious or tormented by inner thoughts of excessive fear and concern, we feel overwhelmed and depressed. Depression literally comes from pressing down all the anxiety and troublesome thoughts into our spirit. It is a serious problem in our world. But thankfully God provides ways out of our depression. One way is when someone speaks a “good word”. Bondages can be broken and fears can be driven away through the anointed words of God’s servants.
Philippians 4:6-7 “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; 7 and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.”
Christians do not have to live in a state of anxiety, worry, fear, and confusion. In fact being anxious is actually a sin. Please do not let these words scare you or think I am trying to make you feel bad. For all of us sin and fall short in some way or another. The secret to overcoming anxiety is to rejoice constantly in the Lord and to pray to God thanking Him for His provision, His goodness, and His mercy both past and future.
But you say, why should I thank the person that made me this way, to suffer from mental illness and disease? I say to you that it was not God that gave you illness or disease, but Satan who is alive and well and ruler of this disease ridden earth.
You say “Where was God when I was suffering?” To that I answer this: Once you ask God to leave you alone, leave your government, your family, your schools, and your mind, He will do just that because he is a gentleman and will leave when you ask Him to. Once you cry out “Oh, God where are you?” He answers, “I am right here, I never left your side, you just asked me to shut up and leave you alone, so I did”.
When you know that your heavenly Father is taking care of your business you can allow the peace of God to fill your life. God’s peace is not dependent on outward circumstances. It is a supernatural peace that comes from knowing God is in control. What you must do is give over All control to God in order to fully receive this peace.
Philippians 4:19 “And my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus.” People in the world are always uptight about their money and having their needs met. In fact, they spend all of their time and energy on pursuit of security. The believer in Jesus Christ is to live a life free from the fear of lack of finances or any other thing. God has promised in His Word that He will take care of all of our needs through his infinite resources.
1 Peter 5:6-7 “Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, 7 casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you.” Care: merimna (mer-im-nah): Believers are given the secret to winning over anxiety and tension by casting all of their care onto Christ. The word merimna comes from meiro, “to divide,” and noos, “the mind.” The world denotes distractions, anxieties, burdens, and worries. Merimna means to be anxious beforehand about daily life. Such worry is unnecessary, because the Father’s love provides for both our daily needs and our special needs.
Believers are not to live “stressed out,” “burnt out” lives. Part of being spiritual is learning how to cast our care upon God and let Him carry the load, because He is strong enough to take it! People were not designed to live under anxiety, tension, and stress. The secret is to be able to release those things to he Lord and to trust Him totally to take care of us.
Do not let the great deceiver, Satan, tell you that you are not good enough to be saved or that you are not smart enough to comprehend this because that is just the type of lies that he thrives off of. If we humble ourselves before God, which means if we five our tension, tears, fears, concerns, anxiety and stress to Him, He can do something about it. As long as we are holding onto our burdens, God will not move in to change things.
Some more verses to turn to: Matthew 6:31-34 basically says that God promised that those who seek Him and put His kingdom first will have their needs met. Therefore, do not worry. There is absolutely nothing God can’t and won’t heal, Jeremiah 32:27. God can work a miracle for you, Jeremiah 33:3.
I hope that this helps all of you reading this. If you have any questions feel free to ask. If you have any comments, I want to hear them.
Much love and abundant blessings,
Kimmy