Tag: bipolar relationship

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Coping Self-Help

Martyrs of Mental Illness, Here’s Your Cookie

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There are quite a few things about the circumstances surrounding mental illness that irritate me to no end. Today, I’m going to be complaining about the “martyrs” of mental illness!

Let me be clear, I do NOT think less of people that decide to stay in a difficult situation with a Bipolar or mentally ill person. I am fully aware that there was a point when that person was probably a wonderful or great person, that you would like to see them recover. You are absolutely entitled to vent, rage, be sad; whatever. What I have a problem with is the following…

Allow me to paraphrase the complaint I hear on a regular basis.

“People play the victim card too much. “Oh, I have ‘Bipolar Disorder/Other Serious Mental Illness’ and I can’t be held responsible for my actions.” What about me? What about everything I’ve been through? My loved one has been abusive and shitty to me in the years we’ve been together. But society says ‘oh you’re Bipolar’ so it’s okay.”

Yeah, it’s society’s fault that the person chose to stay in an abusive, terrible relationship for decades. Being mentally ill is just a bucket of blowjobs! That’s why we have high suicide rates, rates of homelessness, and dysfunctional lives. I can totally do whatever I want and absolutely won’t end up in jail or homeless as a result!

No, society didn’t make it permissible. The enabling partner in that relationship made it permissible. That shit is just weak reasoning to justify their own poor choices. You don’t want to divorce an abusive person that has zero desire to get better because that’s “just not what we were raised to do”? That’s not society’s fault, that’s your fault. Marriage is a contract – to love, honor, and respect one’s partner. An abusive party breaches their part of their contract. No one should feel obligated to stay in an abusive relationship because of what they think their God or other people will think.

Who gives a rat’s ass if the intangible concept of “society” doesn’t like what you do? They aren’t living your life! And please kill the “God put this into my life as a test” garbage. Yeah, your God created you for the sole purpose of being here to suffer another person’s abuses. If that were true, then your God must have created the abusive partner solely to be here to treat you like shit – which is a little fucked up.

And guess what? Putting up with that shit, enabling that person to act that way by not holding them responsible when appropriate, makes it harder for them to actually recover. You continuously demonstrate that “hey, it’s perfectly okay for you to treat me like complete shit and I will keep coming back for more!” Why in the fuck would they ever think they NEED to change? That they cannot continue to conduct their life as they are?

That’s not society’s fault. That’s not society’s choice. That’s the enabler’s choice. So don’t play the victim card after decrying the use of the victim card. You have no one to blame but yourself if you choose to stay in that situation.

Does that mean we blindly act without compassion? No. My rule of thumb is simple. If the person is actively trying and just failing horribly, then I’m on their side. It’s that simple. Is the person trying? Or are they just coasting and dragging you through their shittiness? I have and will continue to go through a lot of shit for people that are genuinely trying to better themselves.

And I get accused of “not being on the side of mentally ill people” on a fairly regular basis as well. You’re right, I’m not! I’m on the side of what is fair. It is unreasonable to expect a “free pass” on shit behavior when you’re not willing to visit a therapist or doc, take the meds, and work to be well. It is unreasonable to expect ANYONE to have a bottomless well of patience, kindness, and understanding when you don’t do anything to better your situation.

A major goal in my advocacy work is to help mentally ill people preserve and improve the lives they have; to keep that well from drying up completely and that relationship from dying. To do so, we MUST acknowledge the suffering we inflict on our loved ones as just as important, just as severe as our own – because it fucking is.

Life isn’t fair or “balanced”. Stop acting like it is, like you’re absolutely powerless to do anything because of what “society” deems or what you “feel”. Just because you love someone doesn’t mean they are any good for you. You always have a choice. It’s just not always a good one.

The situation is not special or unique. Millions of other people around the world have gone through or go through similar. Acting like you don’t have a choice, then blaming intangible entities and concepts is playing the victim card just as much the person who blames their mental illness and does nothing to help themselves.

Spent decades in a terrible, abusive relationship with a toxic mentally ill person? Have a cookie. Now quit blaming everyone else for your choices and do something about it.

I sincerely hope that comes off as condescending as I think it sounds…

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Coping

Preventing Catastrophic Damage In A Bipolar Relationship

I am regularly asked about a particular situation that involves the perspective and decision making of a Bipolar person. In this situation, the Bipolar person appears to be doing reasonably well, but they eventually swing into mania or depression. If they swing into mania, they can do a number of different things that are damaging to the relationship. If they swing into depression, they may feel they have no emotions at all for their partner or they are not worth loving.

I find this situation comes most often from people who are diagnosed but do not understand the Disorder, the undiagnosed who clearly need to speak to a doctor about what they experience, and older folks (40+) who are used to making decisions a certain way. That statement being based on the one or two emails a week I get asking about some variation of this situation. Your mileage may vary.

So let me address the common points.

1. Does my Bipolar loved one love me?
Supporter: The closest point a Bipolar person comes to their true emotions is when they are at a point of stability. Chances are pretty good you can identify the ups and the downs even if you don’t know how to put a name on it. There are likely to be other times of relative peace and harmony. Those are the periods you want to use to gauge their true emotions. Some civil strife is normal in relationships. The over-the-top and abnormal are what indicate unwell periods. During those periods the Disorder is lying to your loved one and warping their perception.

Bipolar: You MUST learn that you cannot trust your brain while you are unwell. You MUST learn to hear your loved ones and trust them when you are unwell. If you learn to identify when you are in an unwell cycle, you can stop yourself from making important decisions. An example. “I was fine last week, I feel miserable and numb now. I feel nothing for my wife; so it must be her fault.” Feeling numb and apathetic are depressive symptoms. It has nothing to do with the wife and everything to do with the fact that YOU HAVE A MOOD DISORDER.

And I hear you asking- “But Dennis, what if I really don’t love my wife anymore?” This is where you have to start realizing that what you experience while you are unstable is not real emotion. It absolutely feels real but it’s manufactured by the Disorder. That is why I beat the drum so loud to not make life-altering decisions while you’re in an unwell cycle; or if you have to, involve people you trust to help you figure things out.

What do you do? You call your doctor and tell them what’s going on. You do NOT make major decisions while you are in an unwell cycle. If the loved one is the actual problem, you’ll still feel that way when you come out of the cycle. If your relationship was loving and good while you were balanced, your moods and emotions should return to that baseline after the unwell cycle.

2. You cannot take a Bipolar person’s words at face value during an unwell cycle.
Supporter: Learn your Bipolar loved one’s unwell symptoms so you can identify when they are getting sick. Once you are able to do so, you must then learn to let their unwell words slide off of your shoulders. That does NOT mean you should put up with abusive or destructive behavior. It does mean accepting that the person is probably going to make bad, foolish decisions they normally would not make while they are balanced and well. Accepting that and not being emotionally invested in their unwell decisions will save you a lot of stress.

Bipolar: Use your loved one as a filter. They spend more time with you than anyone. They likely know your moods and mentality better than you do because they are a third party whose perspective is not skewed by the Disorder. If you’re unwell, run your thoughts and ideas through people that you can trust to see whether it is actually a good idea or if it’s the Disorder fucking with you. Don’t embrace and act on your thoughts while you are unwell. Talk about them and get outside perspectives on them. If you can’t do it with family, look into local or online support groups that provide a safe place to communicate. Outside perspective is invaluable.

3. Ending the cycles of destruction.
Apologies, loved ones; but I have to finish this piece with the mentally ill because this is on us.

Each of us is engaged in a personal war- and that’s not a metaphor. What else do you call an entity that deprives you of happiness, well-being, stability, and peace of mind? What else do you call an entity that strips you of relationships, careers, and friendships? You call it an enemy as only an enemy would do that to you. So you have to fight it like an enemy until you’re standing with your foot on its throat.

Look at everything you’ve lost to it in your life! Your life story is your own road, but our roads run parallel. And I’m 100% sure your road is just as littered with the burnt out husks of what used to be your hopes and dreams as mine is.

You want to beat this shit? You have to learn to stop following the decision making processes that have been fucking you since you started cycling. It doesn’t matter if you’re 20 or 50. I don’t give a shit if you feel “too old to change”. Better to continue on the cycle of destruction and being perpetually fucked?

No. You’re strong and resilient enough to have made it this far in life with mental illness. You are definitely strong and resilient enough to face some changes that will ONLY benefit you.

Take control. Educate yourself. Work on communication with the people you trust. Identify your depressive and manic symptoms so you and your loved ones can spot your unwell cycles with ease. Once you do- stop making life-altering decisions during an unwell cycle!

You can do it.

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General Self-Help

Mood Disorders And The Choices We Make

The central point of everything I bitch and harp about in regards to mood disorder management is education. The afflicted and their closest loved ones need to understand every facet of the mood disorder if they want to effectively counter it. It’s a simple matter of understanding the enemy to engage and win the battle. Understanding the way a mood disorder warps and twists a person’s perception gives them much greater leverage in not jumping on the unwell thought process and rocketing into insanity.

Near that central point is a choice; an often simple choice that we make incorrectly because our brains are fucked up at the moment. A choice we normally would have never made if our brains were in balance. We can prevent a lot of chaos and misery for us and our loved ones by changing the way we make our decisions while unwell. But first, we have to understand when we are unwell!

1. Work on developing your understanding of your triggers and the way you feel while you are unwell. You likely have symptoms while manic or depressive that you have at no other time. In my case, I have pressured speech, racing thoughts, hypersexuality, arrogance, and I can’t sleep more than 4 hours at a time but am never tired. Depression is easy to spot in my own apathy, general annoyance at everything slightly inconvenient, and a desire to sleep too much. I only have these qualities when I’m unwell- never any other time.

2. Utilize loved ones to help identify your unwellness. If you have kids, relatives, or a spouse that gives a shit they can help you identify when you’re getting unwell. You can tell younger kids “just tell me if I start acting really weird”. They don’t need to be inundated in details but they know when mom or dad is being irrational or volatile. I feel it’s a good idea to help older kids understand what’s going on so they don’t learn to fear and resent mental illness.

3. Make better choices before taking action. Are you manic? Does the sound of laughing children piss you off? Can you just not stand the sound of your spouse’s voice? Are you depressed? Can you not see any hope for tomorrow? Is every day going to be shit for the rest of your existence?

Those questions are the kind of warped thoughts we all struggle with. It is your choice on how you respond to those children, your spouse, and the hopelessness. Every fiber of your being may be urging you to scream, yell, or worse; but you have to fight that urge. You have to remember that you have a mood disorder and will have disproportionate responses to about everything while you are unwell. And you have to choose to look forward to tomorrow or remove yourself from your manic stressors.

It is not the world’s responsibility to give two shits about managing your triggers. A lot of people don’t understand and don’t want to understand. That means YOU have to be the one to manage YOURSELF.

That’s not an impossible goal even though it may seem like it. I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve heard “Easier said than done”. Well, no shit. Everything is easier said than done. But you fucking do it anyways because it’s your family, your life, your well being, and your future. And you CAN do it.

Yes, you will inevitably make stupid mistakes. We all do. It gets much easier the more you do it and when you start finding meds that reduce the impact of the unwell swings.

Making better choices can be as simple as removing yourself from a situation that is threatening to spin you out or asking for input from someone you trust. I do both regularly if I don’t trust the defective pile of shit my brain can sometimes be.

You must understand that you are not your Disorder. You may be a terrible person while you are unwell but that does not mean you would make those same choices if you were well. Therefore, you want to get back to making the kinds of decisions you would make while you were well. A mood disorder is just one part of you that can be overwhelming and dominating if untreated, but you do not have to give in to what it will make you think and feel. You can fight it and fight for wellness.

That is a choice.

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Self-Help

An Open Letter On Mood Disorder Warfare

Periodically I will write an open letter that is constructed to be shared with a relevant party. I do this for the loved ones of Bipolars and Depressives that don’t know what to say to the person struggling in their life. Here is one such piece.

Salutations. My name is Dennis, I’m 33, and I am a Type 2 Bipolar with Major Depression and High-Functioning Autism. I spent 15 years undiagnosed, have been in recovery for about 5, 7 suicide attempts, been through alcohol and drug abuse, lived in poverty, and have been kicked around by the system we all know and love. I spent a majority of my life feeling completely shitty about myself and life. And I’m sure you are undoubtedly asking yourself- “Why am I reading this asshole’s life story?” Well, someone that cares about you read this and felt it was relevant; so allow me to get to the point.

What do you call something that consistently destroys your life? That causes you to tear apart the things you care about? That destroys your livelihood and peace of mind? That jeopardizes your future and ability to conduct your life? Yes, I am talking about Bipolar Disorder and Depression but there is something else- an enemy. An enemy is someone that works to overcome and destroy you. An enemy is someone that wouldn’t piss on you to put you out if you were on fire. An enemy strives to deprive you of peace of mind, progress, and property. Some enemies can be rationalized with; irrational enemies must be fought.

Are you fighting the enemy in your mind or are you letting yourself be victimized by it? Are you fighting tooth and nail to stomp down your enemy and grind your boot in its throat? Or are you cowering in the corner hoping things will change on their own? They won’t. They will only get worse if you don’t fight for it to be better. And no- it’s probably not going to be pleasant. But when is fighting for something worthwhile ever pleasant?

And you can sit there and say- “This fucking asshole doesn’t know me or my life.” No, I don’t. I do, however, know Bipolar Disorder and Depression. I know that if you don’t stand, fight, and work against them that they will destroy you. This is one of the few facts that is applicable to any one of us. And I don’t want to hear any “Easier said than done” bullshit either. Everything is easier said than done! How about “It’s easier to do jack shit and fail than try and succeed”?

You deserve to be stable. You deserve to be happy. You deserve consistency and the ability to pursue what you want out of life. Yeah, you may have done terrible shit to people in the past because of what goes on in your head- we all have. But does that mean you have to pay for it for the rest of your life? No! Everyone fucks up and has a different flavor of problems. Ours fucking suck and cause a lot of collateral damage but it’s not like we had a choice to be saddled with this bullshit.

But you do have a choice in how you view it. You have the choice to treat it like the enemy it is and fight it; or cower in a corner and hope it will go away. But it won’t just go away. That’s not the nature of the enemy. Stand up and fight. You’re not alone in it. There are other people fighting the same battles or hopefully some people in your life that still want to help you. But even if there isn’t and you’ve alienated everyone? That’s today and the past. Tomorrow will be better because you’re going to pick yourself up out of the corner and fight. But to win any fight, you need a strategy. These following points will provide you a rough outline of what you need to do.

1. Educate yourself on the enemy. Learn everything you can about the enemy and keep track of the things that resonate with you. Mental illness is a personal experience so advice and information you read may not be as relevant to you as another. Figure out what is, collect information.

2. Get help from mental health professionals. If they won’t listen to you, ignore you, or won’t answer your questions; find another one! Don’t punish yourself because some doctors are shitty at their jobs! You don’t hurt them any.

3. If you’re broke and need to go on meds; ask the doctor to try generics first. Several big box retailers offer $4 per month prescriptions on antidepressants, mood stabilizers, and some antianxieties.

4. If a med isn’t working; talk to your doctor and tell them what’s going on. Be specific! Are you still manic? Are you still depressed? Having anxiety problems? Again, BE SPECIFIC. Do you know how you’ll know what’s wrong? Point 1 and what you’ve learned about the illness and how it affects YOU personally. Knowledge will give you power and leverage over your enemy.

Chances are decent that you’re reading this because someone feels that you act as though you’ve been defeated or let the enemy victimize you. But you’re not defeated or a victim if you do not let yourself be. It’s a war for control of your own mind. You’ll lose some battles. You’ll win some battles. If you keep pressing you will eventually win the war and be able to put your enemy in check. But you have to make the choice, stand up, say enough of this bullshit; and engage the enemy with the same ferocity it uses to attack you. If you don’t think you can do it- well, just look at what you’ve already survived up until this point. Don’t let yourself be a victim.

If you have questions- I’m only an email away.

Dennis

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Coping General

I Recently Fell In Love With This Great Person Who Mentioned They Are Bipolar But…

…now I don’t recognize the person and they are pushing me away. If this sounds familiar to you- then you may be one of the several people who have sent me a very similar comment or email. In most cases, it’s of a romantic subtext. What’s going on in that person’s mind? Can you help? How can you get it back?

A Bipolar who is intensely energetic, passionate to the point of it being too much, outgoing with no barriers, and filled with grand ideas for a future for the two of you is probably very manic. It just so happens that manic individuals come across as more charismatic and on point because their mind harbors no doubts on their behavior and is moving in overdrive. It is very easy for anyone to be enticed and grow deep emotions very quickly for a manic Bipolar if they don’t understand what’s going on and how damaging it is.

What does that mean for the people that fall for a Bipolar during a manic cycle? Probably being severely hurt. That overly energetic, far too passionate person is going to crash into deep depression. Chances are pretty good that any “feelings” they thought they had while manic are going to disappear when they crash out. You’re still confronted with getting to know an entirely different person in the event that they happen to retain some of those emotions. It’s probably not going to be the person you fell for initially.

Then the questions arise- what did I do wrong? How can I get that person I fell in love with back? You didn’t do anything wrong. It’s the normal ebb and flow of Bipolar Disorder. Exceptionally stupid people may try to put the blame on you; but a Bipolar’s emotions changing completely with a mood shift is as natural to us as breathing.

And what about getting that person back? You don’t want that manic person back. You see that frenetic, energetic, fearless mind that so enthralled your mind and emotions is also the same mind that will sell their stuff and fly to Paris tomorrow to start their new life. The manic mind is just as chaotic and destructive as the depressive mind. It’s not something you’ll want back because eventually it will bite you on the ass.

The reality is- you fell in love with just one fragment of that person. If you haven’t spent enough time with the person (a year+) then you probably haven’t experienced their “normal”- how they would be if medicated and managed properly.

But why won’t the person talk to you now? Why do they keep pushing you away and trying to isolate themselves? Well- what goes up must come down. If they are manic they will eventually crash into a deep depression. And a lot of people going through depression don’t want to deal or be around anyone. They may have also been diagnosed but not really understand why the things are happening in their head as they are. For many, it’s easier to avoid someone then try to explain to them how you could love them more than life itself one day and not care whether they were alive or dead the next.

A lot of Bipolar people simply cannot deal with this chaos particularly right after they crashed. The mind is in flux for a little while after a major cycle so they may also be trying to retreat to collect their thoughts so they can figure them out. They may also be reminded of all of their previous failures because of the chaos in their mind and not be able to cope with it at the moment.

Quite a few people want to put the blame on the Bipolar person. They think that the person is purposefully jerking them around or playing with their heart for no reason. While there are undoubtedly some assholes that probably do that- the people genuinely affected may be just as confused as you are. Take a moment to consider the person you’ve loved most in life and the person you’ve hated most in life. If you haven’t experienced true hatred before- think child molester level of hatred.

Now just imagine if you woke up tomorrow and you had a child molester level of hatred for the person you’ve loved most. No rhyme, no reason. It was nothing that person did. Your brain just woke up and decided “hey.. fuck that mother fucker.” That is similar to what you are dealing with in regards to a Bipolar crashing out of a mania and their “love” disappearing. It’s probably not vehement hatred; but chances are good it’s more along the lines of “I don’t know you.” or just not feeling anything for you at all.

The Bipolar that crashes and retreats is probably in a similar mentality. If the Bipolar crashes and wants to talk about it or try and involve you; that’s an entirely different story. Then the two of you can try to move forward together. If they retreat and continuously fight you; you’re probably going to be better off just letting go.

“But I need closure!” I’m no rocket surgeon, but to me, a person who claimed to love me but refused to talk to me for weeks seems like they are providing plenty of closure. Actions speak far louder than words. Why do people need to hear “this will never work” when they’ve already been shown it won’t?

So how can you identify if that special person you just met who said they are Bipolar, who you are falling for, and want to spend your life with is actually level enough to make that kind of judgment? Well- the world isn’t ending tomorrow. Take things plenty slow. The Bipolar person should have at least a bit of doubt or reservation about the whole thing. If they are talking grand plans of weddings, buy a house together, and so on within a couple months; I would be pretty hesitant to move forward on anything. If their personality is so striking, enamoring, more unique than anything you’ve experienced; that could very well be mania.

Go slow and take your time. Wait at least a year or two before entering anything major. That will give plenty of time for that person to crash back to baseline if they are going to. And for the love of God- don’t joint sign for ANYTHING. Keep your finances separate so they can’t clean you out should they decide to pursue their childhood dream of going to Hollywood to make it big. It can easily happen and they will think it is their best idea ever until they crash out of their unwell cycle and realize how drastically they fucked up.

And finally- there are those that have mentioned that mental illness is no excuse and they should be more responsible with their emotions and actions. Thank you for your incredible insight! You are an unrecognized innovator of mental health treatment and should definitely go before the WHO to put forward your idiotic ideas!

It’s “Mental Illness” and “Mood Disorder”; not “Mental Super Happy Fun Time”. Most of us do not like that we do serious damage to people we care about, that care about us, and our ability to live life. It fucking sucks knowing you tore the heart out of a loved one’s chest if you actually love that person. Even if you have everything under control as much as you possibly can, it is no guarantee of success or that you won’t end up backsliding and doing similarly terrible shit to people you care about.

That’s just life with Bipolar Disorder.

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Bipolar Disorder: A Reason Or An Excuse?

We, the nutcases, often struggle to come to terms with the person we are while unwell versus the person that is masked by the mental illness. As we struggle for understanding in ourselves it is very difficult to project the internal struggle to those around us. It’s hard to see that a lot of times we don’t even understand what drove our thought processes. All we can do is sweep up the ashes and hope we don’t lose too much in the process.

That brings me to the topic. A reason? Or an excuse? In my experience- quite a few normals I’ve dealt with see mental illness as an excuse. They have been treated like garbage by someone who was severely unwell or just didn’t give a shit- someone who used their Disorder as an excuse to do so. Since that is their personal experience, they tend to cling to that to ensure they don’t wind up as collateral damage in future interactions with the mentally ill.

In this situation- an excuse to me implies that the person does not want to accept that anything may be wrong or they know something is wrong but milk it for all it’s worth. These people will typically break it out as an excuse to try and seek asylum for any number of their shitty behaviors. “Oh well, I’m Bipolar so I didn’t have control over my actions.” or “Can you loan me money? I can’t hold a job.” And then proceed to do absolutely nothing to remedy the situation.

It is alright to have compassion for people, even manipulative assholes. However; compassion doesn’t mean you allow yourself to be victimized either. You can care about someone and still not put up with their bullshit. “You can stay here, but you either need to be trying to get on Disability or at least trying to work a part-time job.” “What’s the money you’re ‘borrowing’ from me going for? Specifically. If it’s medication, electrical bill, or something like that- fine. If you’re buying liquor or bullshit with it- then we’ll have a problem.”

What constitutes a reason? It’s actually very simple. Can the person take responsibility for their actions even if they don’t understand them? Responsibility means apologizing, trying to pay for the damages if you can, and doing what you need to. Take responsibility for your unwell actions as much as you can. Some people will be able to forgive you- others won’t. That’s just an unfortunate part of our existence.

And I would like to clarify a point. When I suggest an apology- I am not advocating apologizing for being mentally ill. NEVER apologize for being mentally ill. It’s not your fault. You have no control over the hand you were dealt- but you can choose how to play it. What I’m talking about is apologizing for hurting that person you care about. Nuts or not, no one wants to feel as though their feelings are given no consideration. Apologize for the pain, apologize for screwing things up for that person, apologize because you care about whatever you inflicted on that person.

I usually use something to the effect of- “I am sorry for XYZ action. I was unwell when I did it and I really thought I was doing the right/correct thing. If I can make it up to you; please let me know. Unfortunately, I’ll probably end up doing something just as insane in the future. That’s life as a Bipolar sometimes.”

A normal that says it’s only an excuse for shitty behavior has often been hurt badly by someone in their past, so arguing is rarely productive. I use something to the effect of- “I’m sorry for whatever you went through to have caused you to draw that conclusion. But I’m not like that. I take my meds, I fight for my wellness and to understand, and I take responsibility for my bullshit when it erupts. I know I’m Bipolar- and I don’t deny or fight that realization. I do everything I can to manage it. If ever there comes a time I treat you like that- tell me I’m being an insane asshole. There’s a good chance I just haven’t yet realized I’m unwell.”

The important thing is to stay calm. Some scenarios I’ve seen where this is the case is a person who was badly abused by an unmedicated Bipolar parent or someone with an unchecked Bipolar spouse who utterly destroyed their peace of mind and life. In either case, you won’t win an argument with them. You just have to give them the fuel for thought to show that we’re all individuals and can’t be lumped together. Frankly, it’s identical to racial stereotyping. It’s a physical difference that is assumed to bind us all into a stereotype. Black, brown, white, mentally ill- all are physical differences. Ours is just invisible.

So for those of you that are wondering whether it is an excuse or a reason- it all boils down to responsibility- if you take no responsibility for your wellness or trying to find it, walk all over others and think you’re exempt from their anger, or act like a shithead because “you’re mentally ill”. You’re just making excuses as a false victim. You have the power to change your life for the better; even if that means trying med combinations for years, dragging yourself to appointments you don’t want to go to, or taking the first step to acknowledge that you’re broken- just like me and several others in this world. You’re not alone, even if you think you are.

And if you cross paths with one of these people that make it harder on all of us- call them on their bullshit. The normals may not know how to handle a person like that but we do. It is typical to return to a point where we are finally able to feel sorrow and bad about what we did to the people we care about. If you reach that point- own up to it. If you reach that point and say fuck it- then you’re a selfish asshole for making things harder on the people that care about you and those of us who do.

That is something we should all be angry about.

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