mental illness – Page 3 – Your Bipolar Friend

I was recently sent an article arguing the “offensiveness” in linking certain patterns and beliefs to mental health. The subject was a paranoid schizophrenic painter by name of Martin Ramirez. A curator suggested certain symbolism in his art denoted a “more sane and less mentally ill part of Ramirez”. Apparently, this was some indicator of a greater problem in perception of the man.

This raises a significant question to me. Who actually cares about this kind of thing? The article does suggest the sentence could have been taken out of context- which it was. It was some curator trying to comment on the unique work of Ramirez while acknowledging what drove his thought processes. He wasn’t a psychologist. The curator didn’t struggle with his own mental health. That is apparent by his comment.

The article goes on to state that it is a perfect example of the kind of attitudes we experience on a daily basis in our private and professional lives. Demanding that degree of understanding from normals is as futile as bailing out the Pacific with a thimble. Even the people we are closest to in our lives often do not fully understand why we do what we do or what we think what we do. How are we to expect society to do that on a whole? They cannot. It’s impossible.

Normals can play an ancillary role in the struggle for understanding and social acceptance but it is ultimately up to we, the mentally ill. Our path is no different than that of the Civil Rights movements that have occurred throughout this country’s history. The only difference is our bond crosses race, sex, orientation, and faith.

We as a whole should focus on picking ourselves and others that are mentally ill up. Why? The more of us that are well and able to show through action that we are deserving to not be treated like a sideshow the greater impact there will be. Would it not be better to see Senators or Representatives that have fought with and learned to manage their mental illness? Would those kind of people not be more inclined to push for more effective protection against the jackals in the insurance industry? Would that not offer more hope to people that they could get well?

Fighting stigma is important- if it matters. I understand that people lose careers, families, and their sense of self every day because of mental illness. I feel for you. I really do. But the battle for Political Correctness will only provide the illusion of progress.

Don’t believe me? Then why are so many women still paid far less in the same position with the same education and experience as a man? Why did it take Congress 30 years to repeal sentencing parameters being five times longer for the same amount of crack-cocaine than regular cocaine? A crack rock is to cocaine powder what ice is to liquid water; they‘re the same thing. The only difference was crack was the drug of the poor and minorities while cocaine continues to be the drug of the middle to upper class.

There is no perfect equality and there never will be. Someone will always be under foot, oppressed, and fighting. Does that mean we should not stand up for ourselves against the tide? Absolutely not!

It does mean we should pay more attention to which battles are worth fighting. Focus on the battles that will allow us to conduct our lives in a way that is gainful and meaningful to us. I’m not interested in the illusion of equality and opportunity that so many people have in this country. I’m interested in real opportunity for the mentally ill, women, minorities, and anyone else deserving.

Opening our own avenues of opportunity will bring equality and understanding.

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I dislike suicide, not for the obvious reasons. I dislike it because the absolute end leaves behind so much stupidity. The person who ends up losing the war in their mind and commits suicide is rarely remembered with fondness or warmth. No, they’re remembered for the sole act of committing suicide. A singular act in their life that redefined everything else they may have accomplished to that date. I would point out that I’m not talking about things like assisted suicide for the terminally ill or someone who is just tired of life in general. I had indirect association with a man in his early 50’s who shot himself because he was simply tired of the way life had been for him. Having lived in poverty, I can understand that mentality and sympathize.

Instead, I’m talking about the people that struggle with depressive components of mental illness and end up killing themselves. Those types of problems do not just appear overnight. They ramp up over a long period of time. In the case of Don Cornelius, he had been expressed dark and depressive thoughts the last few years since his divorce which his friends are now realizing were indicators of a more serious problem. And therein is the problem; hindsight is 20/20. It’s easy to go back and realize there was a problem after the fact. That doesn’t really help anyone though. People will inevitably miss indicators, the mentally ill will periodically take their own lives; it is impossible to “save” everyone.

So when someone does lose the fight, why is it that they are remembered for that singular act? That one act where the scales finally tipped far enough to the suicidal side of the spectrum to cause them to act. In my own family, we have a history of mental illness with some murders and suicides thrown in for good measure. Since my mother was adopted, she did not find her biological mother until she was about 50. I was the only person in my family with mental difficulties that I knew about until that family was found. It would be easier for me to milk a honey badger than it is to get people to talk about the suicides.

“We don’t talk about that.” “Um, that makes me uncomfortable to talk about.” “I don’t think we should talk about that.”

I get it. It’s easy to paint that person as selfish for making the choice they did. Unfortunately, that’s not exactly how suicidal thinking works. It’s not so much as a choice as it is a culmination of bullshit stacking up with the perception that there is no way out. Most people that attempt suicide are not doing so because they want to die, they do so because they can no longer deal with their problems and they have no hope it will change. I have 1 active and 6 passive suicide attempts under my belt, if I thought for a second that the next 18 years would be anything like the past 18 years; I would slit my wrists and jump off the bridge. But no, I have hope things can be different.

I am sorry that a person close to you caused you so much pain. But you know what? YOU’RE STILL ALIVE. By not talking about these things it is far more difficult for other people going through it in a family to come forward or seek help. Why? They don’t want to be labelled as a “nutcase” or treated differently. But no, what really matters is the feelings of the living and how deceased’s action made them feel. Not the fact that the person laying in the box no longer has that choice.

Dear reader, I am very weary. I’m weary of people using emotions and feelings as a crutch. As much as I have tried, I simply do not have the energy to care about how these people feel about something that they clearly don’t understand. A week after, I can understand. 20, 30 years later? Really? When is it appropriate to talk about suicide?

If you had someone in your life close to you commit suicide, forgive them. It will do wonders for your own mentality. Remember them fondly. Hell, set a place for them at your next holiday dinner. They walked a long, hard, lonely road and lost their war. But here’s the thing. If you have kids or family members around who are walking the same path in their mind, they will be more open to talking about what’s in their mind.

A great number of mental illnesses have their roots in genetics. Which means if your family line up to that point has struggled with mental illness, it’s a pretty safe assumption it’s going to continue down the line. Changing that perception may prevent your grandkids or great grandkids from taking the same route the deceased did.

Silence benefits no one.

Now it’s too late to change the fate

To change the way, the time is out

Way too soon you had to go away

Why so soon you had to fly away

The guilt, The pain burning like a flame

The pain we feel too bad it’s so real

Feelings of shame ourselves we blame

Throughout the years speaking to deaf ears

– ‘Wasted Years’ – Norther

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